Just another manic Monday

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From the beginning…

Looking back over the few stories I have sitting in the unpublished file, I can see I’ve started a conversation on religion and spirituality and then let it sit. I think I have over 5 stories sitting waiting for me to come back to them. It’s not that I didn’t have a story, it’s that I realized I was and still aim seeking what my view on all of those things are. 

I can say with absolute certainty that I don’t not believe in the God of the bible. I don’t believe in organized religion. I do believe in the divine, in the creator. Just not the same one most people who are Christian believe in. I realized tonight that I have issues with blonde hair, blue eyes, in a box God. Like major issues. I’ve known that for a while, I just tend to gloss over it or not put much thought into it. 

But a few days ago I knew I needed to go back to the beginning. Start with a clean slate and learn. I mean truly learn, because I won’t be able to move forward in my pursuit of a happy life if I am still hung up on some blonde hair blue eyed beast who allows people to be hurt and rules with an iron fist… See, issues…

Anyways, I said I would give EVERY religion and creation story a fair shake. I know I am taking on a huge task, but I have time right now. Nothing but time actually :-/ Learning about religions isn’t anything new for me, most of my BS (that’s the degree, not bullshit) is in religion and women’s studies. So I am in the beginning stages, actually completely engrossed in a book now. I had to pause to write this. What’s most interesting about the book is occasionally she will ask a ton of questions with the thought it would get you to see where you are and answer the questions honestly. Like…

1. What was your childhood religion, if any?

2. What did your mother teach you about God?

3. Describe your childhood God using at least ten adjectives.

4. Is this still the God you believe in?

5. Write a prayer.

Etc.. As you can see by some of the questions I’m going to have a ball with this book. I realized today I miss being in school, so basically I just set up my own course and coursework… I need to apply to Graduate school soon…

Anyways, I think I’ve lost focus. Actually, I know I lost focus. Unfortunately today, that is my issue and I’m being forever gracious with myself and ending this post here. Maybe tomorrow will be more focused and a little more indepth conversation. Or maybe… Birds… Lol!



Faking it until you Make it…

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Disclaimer: This was from a year ago… Not really sure why I didn’t post nor finish it. But I am going to post it as is, and write more about this or something similar to it in the next few days or hours… Time is totally irrelevant right now.

Has anyone ever done that or heard of that saying…? Well I’m really good at this, maybe too good. Sometimes I have this habit of not wanting to do something or not completely believing in something the way I want to or maybe should. So then I fake it, make it seem like I do or that I’m happy with the hopes that me faking it will help me, really help me believe what I am faking. Most times it works wonders, sometimes not so great.

Say I am not in the mood for a family event but the rest of the family is, or I have a headache or something else. Anyways I pretend that I am excited, get really pumped and smile like crazy. And you know what most times it works like candy 🙂 Other times my crabby attitude just persist and it can make for an annoying afternoon/night.

Or take for instance the fact that I am still questioning if I completely believe in God, you know the same one everyone I know believes in and can’t seem to understand WHY I don’t believe in him/her/it/being. Most people I know that believe seem to believe because that is what they are supposed to do, or they grew up in the church and why WOULDN’T you believe in God. But have they ever questioned, wondered, had doubt? I know why I am questioning, and it is all a part of the journey. What I can’t stand are those that condemn me because of what I feel or believe. Isn’t it MY choice to believe or not? Anyways, I’m venturing off my Fake it until I Make it post…

I try not to do this type of thing on a regular basis, because doing that lets me know that I am missing something. That I need to re-evaluate my circumstances and recognize that I am the person to make me happy. But it doesn’t stop me from faking it. It doesn’t stop me from questioning. It doesn’t stop me from doubting. This faking only helps me to make it through the next minute, hour, day, week, month, year.

Day Three of Rerouting.

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I was gonna post yesterday about day two, but I changed my mind at the last minute. It went great, I think the hardest part is when I’m hungry I typically just go in the kitchen and eat. And because I’m home all of the time it is easy to do that. So I’ve taken on a few projects around the house to help distract me.


One of those projects is the room upstairs that I am converting into my office/scrapbook/sewing/photography space. That’s a lot in that little room as well as keeping enough room for a bed for when we have guests come to visit. But I believe the way I will set the room up it should all flow smoothly.

photo-35I’ve been doing some painting lately and little DIY projects as well as scoring pinterest to help me find ideas to do in the room. As of now I have repainted a mini shelf that will go on the wall and hold pretty things. I just yesterday sanded, primed and painted (3 coats) an older dresser that we’ve had for a while. I can’t even remember where we got it from, but its one of those older dressers that actually are made of real wood and very sturdy. Anyways, the dresser is done and I’ve already filled the bottom three drawers with things. My kiddos things, actually going through their box made me realize just how behind I am at putting their stuff together by year. I was so good at it with D-boy and his first 4 years, then just slacked after that. But I think I have a system and so it should go quickly once I get started. At least with D-boy and Mini Mouse. Miss Marie will be a tad tricky and she is the youngest, go figure.

Anyways, praying your day is beautiful! Peace, Love and Hairgrease!


Texas Sky…

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Enough Said…DSC_7048 DSC_7047 DSC_7046 IMG_8727 IMG_8602 IMG_8097

This one is also a picture of a random fire that popped up in the area we live… Those darn hot days 🙂


When you are your most busy and stressed, take a moment to look up and rejoice! It’s the little things, I love gazing at the clouds and catching an awesome sunset. Which we are rushing out of the house to do now!

5 Things that make me Happy Now


There are so many things that are making me happy right now it is really hard to narrow it down. But here I am doing just that! Anyways, here is my trusty list and the fun graphics. This series is really fun, and I look forward to the next post.

5 things make me happy 25 things makes me happy

1. God! Knowing that I am loved no matter what I do, say or think is amazing.

2. Myself! Is that self-centered? I don’t know, whatever the case my happiness is not dependent on anyone else making me happy. As long as I can make myself happy, life is great.

3. My Husband, Isaac! I knew that I could love another more than myself, but I never thought it could be another adult human versus a child human. I think I love him more and more with each day that passes, does he get on my last nerves sometimes? Of Course, but it is great to have someone to go on this amazing journey with. Just to be clear, I’m the better half and the good looking half…

4. My Children, D-boy, Mini Mouse and Miss Marie! I loved them before I even set eyes on them. My heart expanded the day I found out I was pregnant. I get frustrated sometimes and annoyed, but it is all a learning process for all of us and I look forward to seeing them grow older and becoming their own person outside of us, their parents.

5. Photography! I am having a blast documenting our life and having memories for us to look back on years from now. Photography is an art form that I am learning and one that I am passing on to my children. They love to take photos as much as I do, they will be great about snapping those small moments. Sometimes I worry that I’m not in enough photos because I am always behind the camera lens. I’m learning to step out of the shadows and hop in the picture in some way or another. Now if only I can teach my other half to take clear and non fuzzy pictures.


1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears (graphic version)
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.