I turn over and open my eyes. I find you already awake watching me sleep. Sometimes that is too much for me, I might give out more information about myself while I’m sleeping then when I’m awake. I mean my guards are down and I’m completely at ease. I can’t control the situation.
I think that’s my problem, the loss in control. I need to feel as if I’m in control at all times, when that control slips I slip. But let’s be honest, the only thing I can control is my body. And sometimes I can’t even control that. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just a thing.
And so I bring my focus back to the moment and stretch, that gives me a moment and then I say Good Morning! Your focus never wavers from my face, I can feel it burning a hole. My brain goes into over drive trying to remember the dream I was just having, making sure I didn’t sleep talk. Because for some reason I feel like I could be in trouble.
Turns out that’s not the issue, as a matter of fact. The issue is you just want to have some one on one time with me before our children wake. Normally, I would kindly remind you I am not a morning lover. And list our children as the reason for that. But today, today I breathe…
And after I’ve caught my breath again, we start our day. Sometimes, taking a breath before answering the question that’s been asked can and does net a different answer.
I know this doesn’t sound like a love letter… But it is, it’s my kind of love letter.
I Love You!