Pictures from my birthday…
I’m sure I will eventually post the story I wrote a few days ago. But for now, now I want to stay in the light and so this was what we had to look forward to…
We got a foster care placement on Wednesday, literally 4.5hrs after we made it back home from South Dakota. It was everything we didn’t ask for and more. We have come to the conclusion that we are too ‘old’ to have anyone under the age of 4 in our house (unless someone decides to make a joke and the vasectomy we’ve had reverses itself. Please note; I’m not laughing)…
We are also keep it to one more, maybe two more kiddos but definitely not three more. Been there, done that! And so we get a text message about an emergency placement, we are the last resort otherwise they will split them. The suckers we are fell for it. Lol! No matter what they will be split into at least two homes, there are 4 of them and a baby on the way. Our home only has 3 spots. So here’s to hoping our close friends who are foster parents will be able to take them so that they can see each other a lot.
Anyways, so out of the three only one of them met our requirements. Haha! So we now have a house of six kiddos, 15, 10, 9, 4, 2 and 1… Whew! I’m tired just typing that out. Needless to say it’s been busy.
The other exciting thing we had to look forward to was our youngest had her 9th trip around the sun on Sunday!
She has been counting down to her birthday since April. I’m always happy when it finally gets here, she is so funny! This year I dropped the ball and didn’t bake cupcakes for the friends that would come to her party. Let’s be honest, I was just plain tired. So I bought a cake from Walmart (the only store open at 7am on a Sunday morning) and made her two little cakes (because… Dairy allergy).
She could care less about anything else other then eating her cakes and swimming. Also one of her gymnastics buddies had a swimming party as well so she got to celebrate twice. She was happy and so was I.
And to finish the post, I chopped my hair on Thursday. It’s cut, I feel so Boy George-ish!
Normally I write a reflection piece on my last year the night before or the night of my birthday. This year was different.
I’ve been 36 for 6 days now and I am enjoying all of that. I am 4 years closer to 40 and feeling so much like an adult. I know I’m an adult, but these last few years I’ve felt like I’m adulting even more. Yes, I know that’s not a word, but I’m going to use it anyways.
I’m more in tune with who I am and where I’m going. I am more determined and willing to take the risks (more so lately in the last year). I know what I like and I don’t settle for less. I am also not willing to spend time letting others define who and what I should be, nor do I spend my time with negative people. I feel like I should spend time with people of the same mindset and determination, it just makes for a better life.
Anyways, this last year I’ve wrestled with what religion is to me and I’ve finally figured it out and now just as before willing to stand in that truth. For me, that was one of the hardest parts of this year. Next was truly healing and being in the truth of my childhood. Realizing that it doesn’t define me, it is just a part of who I am. And that I can give all of the hurt and sadness power if I allow it. And this year I have finally decided to stop giving it power. It was a decision that has been for the better, I can’t say that there won’t be days where I am just present and mourning the things I have been through. I know there will be, but once I am able to mourn them I will be able to move forward. My biggest issue is I never mourned what happened, I just dealt with it. A coping mechanism that served me greatly in the beginning of life, one that won’t continue on past this moment.
I feel like I am more confidant, sexier, outspoken, and just all around more. Is it true you hit a certain point when you reach your 30s? It must be, because these last 6 years of my 30s on this earth have been so incredibly interesting and filling. Less is more, family over everything (and I mean the family I’ve made), I enjoy being touched more (just touched in general), I am learning to be more present in the things we do as a couple, by myself or with our whole family. After all the best part of the journey are the small moments all compiled into bigger moments.
Anyways, I ended my 30 days of writing by recording myself talking about the things that were swirling around in my head. Maybe at some point I will take those recordings and write them out and post them here. Some are so profound and others are just fun. Either way it goes I almost successfully posted a story for a full 30 days. I know I posted a photo or at least took a photo to be able to post it. I am proud of myself for sticking with it even when the most I could do was post a sentence or two, not entirely because I was tired but just because of where I was during that time of the month.
I ended November, remembering my grandmother through the cake my amazing husband baked for me. It was great and I’m glad I have someone who loves me enough to crack a shitload of walnuts, lol! But really, he is a great guy. Wouldn’t trade him for the world… Well, maybe for Denzel Washington but that’s besides the point. 🙂
A couple of the last days of November seemed to drag on forever, I teared up a few times for the lose the little girl experienced at the age of 14. I grieved for the little girl who lost her whole world and had to suck it up and keep it moving because life wasn’t kind enough to allow her to pause and be in her grief. I grieved for the little girl who lost the one person she considered her mom and I grieved for the little girl who missed sitting in her grannies lap being held and hugged and kissed. Once I grieved for those loses I was able to be completely joyful in my truth of being a photographer.
I’ve been fighting it for such a long time, I am excited to take this new journey and to see where it takes me. I was able to shadow a photographer friend and her husband as they shot a wedding, not only did I shadow them I also took photos. It was amazing, and I loved every long minute of it. Being present in the love of someone else love, it gave me new meaning to the almost 9 year marriage of myself and that great guy, Ike.
Anyways, I am wondering from the intent of this post and so I will bring it back around to say. I am grateful to another year to be present in this life, to watch my children grow and experience life. I am grateful for friends and family who make this life journey amazing and fun. And I truly look forward to this next year and what 36 will look like at the end of the year.
Today I had a strong urge to be crafty… So I fiddled around on Pinterest and I’m making pineapple chicken stir fry and a simple banana bread. I’ve had the bananas in my freezer for about 4 months now, waiting precisely for me to use them for this very thing. According to my other half he prefers his bananas to be stored with the skins off, I on the other hand, store mines by just sticking the whole brown thing in my freezer and then pulling it out when I’m having a crafty moment.
The last few days I’ve been thinking and reminiscing about my maternal grandmother who passed when I was 14 years old. I considered her my mother and so it was hard when she died. It was even harder when she died two days after my birthday. That’s a different story for another time. But what has sparked my thought process is the fact that Ike will be making me my favorite cake for my birthday. This is what my granny used to make me every year that I lived with her. It was my own special cake, even though my birthday falls on or around the Thanksgiving holiday every year she did all she could to make it special. And that was one way. Making a from scratch German chocolate cake.
That’s what I’m getting on Thursday, actually I think I might have told him two. Just because. He makes them from scratch too. It makes my whole body do a happy dance, takes me back to being in the kitchen…
This is my stream of consciousness post for today. Thanks for stopping by!
So here are more iPhone photos from our unplanned trip back home. We had a great time, it was nice to see family and friends. I know more people wanted to see us like we wanted to see more people, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow. And the flow was family and we enjoyed it as well as the children. So much happened and it was great, the good, the bad and the ugly! Haha!
We got to spend countless nights sleeping by the fireplace, though I’m sure who we stayed with didn’t think it funny or cool. We all took it in stride and to be honest, I think it was hotter and more personal to be contained in one place. The good in the bad, right. We spent more time together, more great conversations, more bonds were forged and overall we truly loved it.
I got to celebrate my birthday at home. It was all so great! I look forward to turning a year older, I am actually looking forward to the day I can say I’m 50 years old. Now please remind me of this post when I do turn 50 and I grumble about it, ok?! haha. But what made this birthday so different then any other is nothing but the company I kept. I love small and intimate, I love being with people, I love connecting on a deeper level, I love the small things. I rarely celebrated my birthday growing up, let alone had someone acknowledge that it was my birthday (you know that whole, it’s Thanksgiving too deal, and the fact that my bio could care less). Anyways, I made it another year. I survived my year, I get to start over and make this year even better than last. Birthdays are awesome for that.
We then went to Milwaukee and spent Thanksgiving with my in-laws. That is always an experience. One that I might later give more detail to, but for now I will just say. It came and it went and all was well. No one died, no one got their feelings hurt and the food was good! So I call that a success… Anyways, enjoy the pictures below. More to follow soon 🙂