Disclaimer: I wrote this on December 14th… Didn’t feel like hitting publish until today.
I can’t believe it’s been 14 years, it still feels like yesterday when I got the call saying you passed. I had been meaning to give you a call for the past couple of days. I know you had been sick, but I was just about to tell you that your grandson had just started crawling. I knew you would be as excited as I was.
As the day wound down and I sat in the chair to take a breather my phone rang. I picked it up and smiled, I looked over at the little boy playing so contently on the floor by my feet and answered the phone.
I instantly knew something was off but couldn’t place what it was. The person on the other end seemed like she was very sad and was trying to hold it together while talking to me. She asked a few simple questions and I answered each one on guard but also excited. The last thing I remember saying was, “Well, I had called a few times that week and hadn’t heard back. But I figured I would call the next morning…”
And then my world was turned upside down for the 100th time in my life. My biggest supporter, the person who understood everything I had felt and was going through after finding out I was pregnant with Dboy was no longer alive. All I could think was but I had just talked to her like the week before. I was going to call the next morning to tell her about Dboy crawling. I had plans to come home for Thanksgivng. And at that moment none of that mattered.
I knew I needed closer after you passed and I knew it would mean a lot to Grandpa, so we had Dboys first birthday party at your house. Just as we had his first celebration of his life. In your dining room, with you gushing over how incredible that little guy was. You helped make the transition into motherhood smoother, connecting me with moms whom I could talk with and other things. I knew as long as I had you in my corner I wouldn’t be alone…
It’s been 14 years and it still feels like it was yesterday.