Just another manic Monday


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I can’t believe it is day 11, I have only missed two days blogging and one day of posting a photo. So I posted an extra one on instagram, because that is where all of my photos are being posted for the month of November. It’s so weird, because normally I post pictures with my stories. But, because I’m trying something different this month I am not posting pictures here. I’ve been fighting with myself on wanting to post pictures and remembering why I started the month out with no pictures. It was my safety net, my way of saying look at the great pictures I took and while you’re here read what I’m writing too. It was my way of hiding behind something, and so this month I can’t because there aren’t any pretty things to distract you or me (That was deep, LOL!).

So last night I let my body do the talking and I just went to sleep, I refused to try and fight it. When Ike went to bed, I went shortly after. Granted I was up a tad late doing someones head of hairs (Mini Mouse). Anyways, this afternoon I was going to run out and get an errand done in the hour or so I had before the girls needed to be picked up from school. And as I was rushing out of the door with everything to complete my errand in that time frame (the twins and Big boy R were napping, perfect time RIGHT?!) I heard a voice in my head say, “Slow DOWN!” And literally I stopped in my tracks, took a mental note of my body and realized I was tired. I don’t mean the oh, let me prop my feet up with a good book and some tea/coffee. No I mean the kind where I knew I would be fighting sleep as I drove to my destination and back. So I put everything down right where I stood, grabbed my phone and set an alarm, grabbed a pillow and a blanket and laid on the floor. For an instant I even considered turning on the boob tube, but that little voice in my head said, “You are TIRED!”

So I turned over, closed my eyes and woke up to my phone going off with a second missed phone call. I was so disoriented and picked up my phone and seen it was someone from the girls school. That was also the time we realized the girls hadn’t gotten off of the bus, lol! In that dream like state of delirium I called the number back and she said, “HELLO! Did you forget something or two somethings?” And as I chuckled lightly she said, “Oh, you fell asleep didn’t you?” I couldn’t fake it anymore, yes I had fallen asleep, cut off my alarm at some point and just woke up. I’m on my way! Two things about this situation, the person on the other end of the phone was another PTA momma. So she had no problem calling and telling me to get my tush up there to get my girlpies and their cookies I had ordered forever ago. Two, when I made it up to the school (good thing we only live like 2 minutes away). The girls looked at me and said, “MOM! Really, you forgot to come and get the cookies and us.” They really are a hoot sometimes.

Sometimes, it is a good idea to listen to your body and what it is telling you. Like as of late, my body has been telling me I need to go back to my semi-vegetarian life style. I miss the clean, none groggy feeling of eating nothing but fruits and veggies and a few light meats. I feel like I’m bogged down with heavy foods, not to mention just heavy processed foods.

The other thing I am dealing with is my inability to say yes to having a life coach. It’s scary, I don’t even know why. I have the perfect opportunity to get one. I actually admire this lady and all the things she has been doing and does, I think she would be a perfect fit. She would cut through my bullshit, which she kind of did already and make me face the music. I’m just not sure how ready I am. Like her words were so direct and not here for me and my shit, I had to take a step back. My ego instantly stepped in and started trying to take over. I’ve been trying to curb that thing lately, today it was checked. Tomorrow she will be put aside and I will face this head on. It’s still scary though. Like my belly has butterflies just thinking about it. So tonight I won’t think I will just let everything she has said soak in and then tomorrow I will respond with not thought attached. If I think, I give ego a chance to step in again and say that I don’t need to do it. So here’s to taking the first step in faith by leaping over a gourd the size of the Grand Canyon. And doing some serious self-care, because I matter as much as my babies and my other half.

I believe I can… That’s my mantra for the next few days. Believing in yourself is half the battle, or at least it is in my book. Plus affirmative thinking tells me that I see myself doing this life coaching sessions with her. I see myself succeeding far beyond anything I could imagine, and being inspired and uplifted all at the same DAYUM Time!

So tell me, what does your fears or scary things look like for you? What are some ways that you do self-care?

NaBloPoMo November 2015


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