Simply

Just another manic Monday

Early Mornings and unusual Fears

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Nothing like being woken up at 4:30am for no apparent reason, other than you hear something and you shoot right up in bed. Well I can’t really say no apparent reason, I was sound asleep dreaming of my husband, Denzel Washington, when I heard D-boy coughing… Just so you know it was a GREAT dream, how can it not be with Denzel in it πŸ™‚

Because I have watched one too many scary movies, every time I wake up in the middle of the night I listen intently for what woke me up. Like maybe a spirit was angry and the shook me, or some psycho broke into our house and I heard the broken glass hit the floor, or a serial killer is sitting in the corner waiting for me to wake up (that’s also why I don’t have any chairs in my room, they can’t tie me or Ike up to it and make us watch each other die). I know, I know… I’m a little obsessive with the scary movie themes going on here, but I can’t blame it all on the scary movies either. I watch CSI, Criminal Minds, Bones, and any other crime television show I can stomach.

So that is why I always have my knife right by my bed as well as a few other things, like my cell phone and it’s charger (I put it on silent in case I need to make a phone call without alerting anyone), I have my plan on whose room I’m running to first (the girls are right down the hall, so that’s simple enough), Ike will go with D-boy (already discussed that with him as well). We have a landline, but incase they decide to cut the lines well I have back-up… You can tell I’m slightly off my rocker right, haha! I think when we finally buy a house I am going to request that a panic room be added, steel doors and all. I will let you know how that goes over with Ike, I’m guessing not so well. But I can be pretty persuasive so you never know πŸ™‚

I swear the older I get the worse my paranoia kicks in, if I’m driving down a back road and there is fog everywhere…

Or on our road trips and we need gas and have to stop at a all night gas station…

Or when I think I see people following us on the roads, I do quick evasive maneuvers…

How about when I am leaving a store at night and I pull out my pocket knife…

The worst culprits… storm drains (IT by Stephen King) and cemeteries (Pet Cemetery by Stephen King).

You guys are probably in stitches laughing at me right now, but I can’t help it. Especially every time I go into the bathroom and rip back the shower curtain. Because by me doing that, the killer that is behind the shower curtain WON’T kill me, REALLY!

That’s also why I have a love hate relationship with Big Picture Windows and living in the country, hahahahaha! And the sad thing… I want BOTH!

Anyways, so back to my great interrupted dream and my son coughing. My ears became instant radars when I heard something “downstairs”, turns out something was D-boy coughing, and downstairs was actually his room which isn’t even downstairs. Which also had me thinking, well since I’m up I will tiptoe around the house and make sure no one got in while we were sleeping, and yes I did have my pocket knife with me. Because after all I AM a professional hand-to-hand combat warrior and can take anyone… NOT! I need a new plan of attack, maybe a baseball bat will do???

Well, back to my regular program. Glad we made it through another night without incident and that I didn’t have to use all of my super human powers I didn’t know I had.

Gosh, I’m actually realizing how incredibly hysterical this is all sounding now that I have put it down on “paper”…

Oh well, if you can’t laugh at yourself… your life SUCKS πŸ™‚

Have a great day, Iiona

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